Grandparents, In-Laws, and Angels

Inspired by chapter 17

"Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children." — Alex Haley

First and foremost I would like to make sure that you know that I hate using the term “in-laws”. When I married my wife they became my parents whether they liked it or not. 

So when I was dating Becky her parents hated me and for good reason. To be honest they thought I was full of it and for good reason because looking back, I really was. I was still a relatively new member of the church and was really rough around the edges and someone with a good bull crap detector like them spotted me a mile away. That and because they intimidated me so much I also tended to try entirely too hard in order to seek their approval which is the exact opposite way of gaining my in-laws respect. In part of trying to hard was me trying way too hard to show how much I knew about the Gospel and the church which just made me look worse. 

I don’t think I could have dug a bigger hole for myself and yet I did, because of me we ended up not being able to start our marriage in the Temple and that mistake almost cost me my life. The reason why I say that is because what I did, what we did ended up confirming all their suspicions about me. Honestly in retrospect and now that I am a father of three beautiful girls, I understand all too well with why they felt the way they did. I knew the moment Becky danced with her father during our wedding that I had extremely big shoes to fill and that my in-laws would eventually forgive me, but would they ever like me?

Yes, I think they do these days…most days…

I love my parents with all my heart and that includes my in-laws and I cannot stress the gratitude I have for all the help my parents have given us since we’ve been married. The thing that kills me though is that my mom is gone and I will never get to see her spoil my girls rotten like she’s always wanted and that kills me on the inside. My mom died two months before our first girl turned 1, and 6 months before our second child was born, the same day I would start back at school since dropping out of college which was 4 years ago today. I have two picture of my mom holding Adilyn, two and I cherish them above all other picture of my mom that I have I think.

My other two parents though are such a big part of and such a blessing in the lives of our girls and for that I will forever be grateful for this. When I say this I want to stress that I am not minimizing the role my father has because he does his best to be “Grandpa Grumpy” and has has always tried to be there for their birthdays and if nothing else, makes sure they get presents from him. My in-laws biggest contribution to my girls and therefore my life is their time. 

My girls spend so much more time with them then I was ever able to with my grandparents and it’s why I love them so much. One, if not two of my girls have regular sleep overs with them and do things like take them school shopping and does a lot of what I was expecting my mom to be doing at this point. My girls adore all of their grandparents and you can tell that they have only learned to love more deeply because of it. They have also taken the girls during times of strife and during times when they knew that we were at our wits end. 

Our lives wouldn't be complete without grandma, grandpa, and “Grandpa Grumpy”. They are as much a part of our family as can be and because of that my girls have four more times the love, the concern, the examples, and the support.

I cannot thank my parents enough for all they’ve done and will continue to do even when their love has to come from the same side of the vail as my mom is on. Thanks to my parents my girls will be so much better the people, the wives, the mothers, and grandmothers that will one day do the same for their grandchildren. 

This is how families are linked together for the eternities.