Weapons of Mass Destruction Towards the Family

Inspired by chapter 6

“Someone said once that true love must include the idea of permanence. True love endures. But lust changes as quickly as it can turn a pornographic page or glance at yet another potential object for gratification walking by, male or female. True love we are absolutely giddy about... But lust is characterized by shame and stealth and is almost pathologically clandestine—the later and darker the hour the better, with a double-bolted door just in case. Love makes us instinctively reach out to God and other people. Lust, on the other hand, is anything but godly and celebrates self-indulgence. Love comes with open hands and open heart; lust comes with only an open appetite.

These are just some of the reasons that prostituting the true meaning of love—either with imagination or another person—is so destructive. It destroys that which is second only to our faith in God—namely, faith in those we love. It shakes the pillars of trust upon which present—or future—love is built, and it takes a long time to rebuild that trust when it is lost. Push that idea far enough—whether it be as personal as a family member or as public as elected officials, business leaders, media stars, and athletic heroes—and soon enough on the building once constructed to house morally responsible societies, we can hang a sign saying, “This property is vacant.” - Jeffrey R. Holland (Place No More for the Enemy of My Soul)

Modern pornography is always looking to push the envelope, which is rapidly increasing the level of bizarre and violent content being produced. At the same time, it continues to gain a wider amount of acceptance in society, and creating a bigger niche in mainstream media. As technology becomes more sophisticated, so does the pornography industry’s ability to use it to their advantage. This makes sexual content more readily available to current customers, spreads its reach to a wider audience, and hooks an increasingly younger audience. Pornography is the cause of today’s increase of human exploitation, trafficking sex slaves around the world, and fueling a fast growing “rape culture”.  These factors have helped pornography cause a collective decline in our sense of humanity which translates into how we view and perceive our spouse.

Every year for the past decade there have been roughly 1 million divorces in the United States. Out of that 1 million divorces, it is 56% that claims pornography as the culprit. That means there are 500,000 marriages annually that are failing due to pornography.

            Pornography has been around for almost as long as we have. It has been discovered in every culture and has taken on various forms such as, visual depictions on Etruscan pottery, mosaics from Greek as well as Roman times, crude drawings in the early copies of the bible and dotted all over Catholic codecs. In more modern times, men and women were able to buy post cards with provocative photos on them and puppeteers would put on provocative shows. However, since the invention of cinematography in the 1800’s, the content of what is seen on screen has become increasingly graphic and un-natural. These days there are thousands of sites dedicated to a fast growing genre called “abuse porn”. There is porn centered on rape, torture, bestiality, and sadism. While the violence and abuse is real, the perception of enjoyment of the women being used like meat is in all actuality, a clever illusion. In an interview with the website, Fight the new drug, a former actress by the name of “Alex” spoke out about the reality of what is going on in front of the camera:

“[One particular film] was the most brutal, depressing, scary scene that I have ever done. I have tried to block it out from my memory due to the severe abuse that I received during the filming. The [male performer] has a natural hatred towards women, in the sense that he has always been known to be more brutal than ever needed. I agreed to do the scene, thinking it was less beating except a punch in the head. If you noticed, [he] had worn his solid gold ring the entire time and continued to punch me with it. I actually stopped the scene while it was being filmed because I was in too much pain.”

            Pornography has now become the standard in exposing the rising generation to sex for the first time intentional or not, warping how they view sexuality, intimacy and how they view the opposite sex including their spouse or future spouse. This means that as a spouse continues down this path of mental infidelity, the more likely they are going to develop an insatiable appetite to mimic the same sadistic behaviors on their spouse. This is the exact opposite of sexual stewardship and can result in sexual abuse if the will of the spouse consuming porn is overpowering the consent of their wife or husband.

There is a study from 2010 titled, “Aggression and Sexual Behavior in Best Selling Pornography Videos: A Content Analysis Update. Violence Against Women” It was found that out of ten scenes, nine included women being hit, beaten, yelled at or otherwise harmed. Sadly during filming the women either seemed un-phased by the abuse while others portrayed themselves as actually having enjoyed what they were put through. Not only is what is being shown completely fictitious it is also the perfect delivery tool considering how our brain receives new information and encodes it. The result of this “sexual education” is an increase of sexually transmitted disease, infidelity, rape (including date rape), and having a marriage ruined. At the same time, the average age a person loses their virginity has become lower. The norm for children exploring sex for the first time has been found to be age fourteen. Love, intimacy, innocence and privacy are also being lost thanks to applications like Snapchat and Twitter. There is a constant loss in ground on the war for morality and humanity, and one day these children will be in charge of the world. 

            The porn industry is not without its support, ranging from within its community to scientific studies. One study in particular, published in the “Journal of Sex Marital Therapy” from 2013. It states that couples viewing pornography together were more open and trusting with each other, and the level of satisfaction for the relationship was higher while the stress for each partner was lower. Supporters also point out that pornography is a multi-billion dollar industry, and it is able to pay the top female stars more in a week than most doctors in the United States make in a month. Even the actresses themselves will tell you that being a porn star is empowering and that women call more of the shots these days. 

Jenna Jameson is a prime example of the power and success that women can obtain in the porn industry. Since 1993, she has become arguably the most recognizable adult star in the world appearing in over 178 movies and directing 4. These days she also has her own adult toy line and is one of the top paid for adult websites on the internet. Her autobiography, “How to Make Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale,” spent six weeks on the New York Times bestseller list in 2006, and was reportedly worth 30 million dollars. In 2008 she stated at the annual “Adult Video Awards” that she was retiring from making porn.

          The truth however twisted by its supporters, is still none the less, the truth – most of these studies are paid for by the industry itself while legitimate studies done in the mental health and medical fields prove the toxicity of porn. Those “empowered” women, often recant their statements after they've been used up and spit out. Even the porn queen herself, Jameson, isn't immune. She had to sell her site and toy line to Playboy and return to porn not more than five years after her retirement. What was she doing during those five years? Being arrested for a DUI for driving drunk while also on drugs. Getting divorced from her second husband while being abused by her then boyfriend while he accused her of having an addiction to OxyContin. If this is what porn does to its top talent, imagine what it does to the girls on the bottom or to your marriage?

            When it comes to porn there are no victors, only victims. Victims like 23 year old Jyoti Singh Pandey who on December 16^th of 2012, was savagely beaten with a rusty iron bar and then repeatedly gang raped on a private bus. Fifteen days later she would die in a Singapore hospital from a combination of brain damage, pneumonia and an abdominal infection from the attack. Incidents like this will continue to rise and escalate due to pornography’s influence on so many lives. The longer pornography continues to gain traction in this world, we will continue to lose hold of what humanity we have left and it will be marriages and families that are destroyed in the process.

I want to leave with you a letter President Gordon B. Hinckley received from a grieving widow that speaks about the effects of pornography has in marriage:

 “Dear President Hinckley,

“My husband of 35 years died recently. … He had visited with our good bishop as quickly as he could after his most recent surgery. Then he came to me on that same evening to tell me he had been addicted to pornography. He needed me to forgive him [before he died]. He further said that he had grown tired of living a double life. [He had served in many important] Church callings while knowing [at the same time] that he was in the grips of this ‘other master.’

“I was stunned, hurt, felt betrayed and violated. I could not promise him forgiveness at that moment but pleaded for time. … I was able to review my married life [and how] pornography had … put a stranglehold on our marriage from early on. We had only been married a couple of months when he brought home a [pornographic] magazine. I locked him out of the car because I was so hurt and angry. …

“For many years in our marriage … he was most cruel in many of his demands. I was never good enough for him. … I felt incredibly beaten down at that time to a point of deep depression. … I know now that I was being compared to the latest ‘porn queen.’ …

“We went to counseling one time and … my husband proceeded to rip me apart with his criticism and disdain of me. …

“I could not even get into the car with him after that but walked around the town … for hours, contemplating suicide. [I thought,] ‘Why go on if this is all that my “eternal companion” feels for me?’

“I did go on, but zipped a protective shield around myself. I existed for other reasons than my husband and found joy in my children, in projects and accomplishments that I could do totally on my own. …

“After his ‘deathbed confession’ and [after taking time] to search through my life, I [said] to him, ‘Don’t you know what you have done?’ … I told him I had brought a pure heart into our marriage, kept it pure during that marriage, and intended to keep it pure ever after. Why could he not do the same for me? All I ever wanted was to feel cherished and treated with the smallest of pleasantries … instead of being treated like some kind of chattel. …

“I am now left to grieve not only for his being gone but also for a relationship that could have been [beautiful, but was not]. …

“Please warn the brethren (and sisters). Pornography is not some titillating feast for the eyes that gives a momentary rush of excitement. [Rather] it has the effect of damaging hearts and souls to their very depths, strangling the life out of relationships that should be sacred, hurting to the very core those you should love the most.”

“Someone said once that true love must include the idea of permanence. True love endures. But lust changes as quickly as it can turn a pornographic page or glance at yet another potential object for gratification walking by, male or female. True love we are absolutely giddy about... But lust is characterized by shame and stealth and is almost pathologically clandestine—the later and darker the hour the better, with a double-bolted door just in case. Love makes us instinctively reach out to God and other people. Lust, on the other hand, is anything but godly and celebrates self-indulgence. Love comes with open hands and open heart; lust comes with only an open appetite.

These are just some of the reasons that prostituting the true meaning of love—either with imagination or another person—is so destructive. It destroys that which is second only to our faith in God—namely, faith in those we love. It shakes the pillars of trust upon which present—or future—love is built, and it takes a long time to rebuild that trust when it is lost. Push that idea far enough—whether it be as personal as a family member or as public as elected officials, business leaders, media stars, and athletic heroes—and soon enough on the building once constructed to house morally responsible societies, we can hang a sign saying, “This property is vacant.” - Jeffrey R. Holland (Place No More for the Enemy of My Soul)

Modern pornography is always looking to push the envelope, which is rapidly increasing the level of bizarre and violent content being produced. At the same time, it continues to gain a wider amount of acceptance in society, and creating a bigger niche in mainstream media. As technology becomes more sophisticated, so does the pornography industry’s ability to use it to their advantage. This makes sexual content more readily available to current customers, spreads its reach to a wider audience, and hooks an increasingly younger audience. Pornography is the cause of today’s increase of human exploitation, trafficking sex slaves around the world, and fueling a fast growing “rape culture”.  These factors have helped pornography cause a collective decline in our sense of humanity which translates into how we view and perceive our spouse.

Every year for the past decade there have been roughly 1 million divorces in the United States. Out of that 1 million divorces, it is 56% that claims pornography as the culprit. That means there are 500,000 marriages annually that are failing due to pornography.

            Pornography has been around for almost as long as we have. It has been discovered in every culture and has taken on various forms such as, visual depictions on Etruscan pottery, mosaics from Greek as well as Roman times, crude drawings in the early copies of the bible and dotted all over Catholic codecs. In more modern times, men and women were able to buy post cards with provocative photos on them and puppeteers would put on provocative shows. However, since the invention of cinematography in the 1800’s, the content of what is seen on screen has become increasingly graphic and un-natural. These days there are thousands of sites dedicated to a fast growing genre called “abuse porn”. There is porn centered on rape, torture, bestiality, and sadism. While the violence and abuse is real, the perception of enjoyment of the women being used like meat is in all actuality, a clever illusion. In an interview with the website, Fight the new drug, a former actress by the name of “Alex” spoke out about the reality of what is going on in front of the camera:

“[One particular film] was the most brutal, depressing, scary scene that I have ever done. I have tried to block it out from my memory due to the severe abuse that I received during the filming. The [male performer] has a natural hatred towards women, in the sense that he has always been known to be more brutal than ever needed. I agreed to do the scene, thinking it was less beating except a punch in the head. If you noticed, [he] had worn his solid gold ring the entire time and continued to punch me with it. I actually stopped the scene while it was being filmed because I was in too much pain.”

            Pornography has now become the standard in exposing the rising generation to sex for the first time intentional or not, warping how they view sexuality, intimacy and how they view the opposite sex including their spouse or future spouse. This means that as a spouse continues down this path of mental infidelity, the more likely they are going to develop an insatiable appetite to mimic the same sadistic behaviors on their spouse. This is the exact opposite of sexual stewardship and can result in sexual abuse if the will of the spouse consuming porn is overpowering the consent of their wife or husband.

There is a study from 2010 titled, “Aggression and Sexual Behavior in Best Selling Pornography Videos: A Content Analysis Update. Violence Against Women” It was found that out of ten scenes, nine included women being hit, beaten, yelled at or otherwise harmed. Sadly during filming the women either seemed un-phased by the abuse while others portrayed themselves as actually having enjoyed what they were put through. Not only is what is being shown completely fictitious it is also the perfect delivery tool considering how our brain receives new information and encodes it. The result of this “sexual education” is an increase of sexually transmitted disease, infidelity, rape (including date rape), and having a marriage ruined. At the same time, the average age a person loses their virginity has become lower. The norm for children exploring sex for the first time has been found to be age fourteen. Love, intimacy, innocence and privacy are also being lost thanks to applications like Snapchat and Twitter. There is a constant loss in ground on the war for morality and humanity, and one day these children will be in charge of the world.

            The porn industry is not without its support, ranging from within its community to scientific studies. One study in particular, published in the “Journal of Sex Marital Therapy” from 2013. It states that couples viewing pornography together were more open and trusting with each other, and the level of satisfaction for the relationship was higher while the stress for each partner was lower. Supporters also point out that pornography is a multi-billion dollar industry, and it is able to pay the top female stars more in a week than most doctors in the United States make in a month. Even the actresses themselves will tell you that being a porn star is empowering and that women call more of the shots these days.

Jenna Jameson is a prime example of the power and success that women can obtain in the porn industry. Since 1993, she has become arguably the most recognizable adult star in the world appearing in over 178 movies and directing 4. These days she also has her own adult toy line and is one of the top paid for adult websites on the internet. Her autobiography, “How to Make Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale,” spent six weeks on the New York Times bestseller list in 2006, and was reportedly worth 30 million dollars. In 2008 she stated at the annual “Adult Video Awards” that she was retiring from making porn.

          The truth however twisted by its supporters, is still none the less, the truth – most of these studies are paid for by the industry itself while legitimate studies done in the mental health and medical fields prove the toxicity of porn. Those “empowered” women, often recant their statements after they've been used up and spit out. Even the porn queen herself, Jameson, isn't immune. She had to sell her site and toy line to Playboy and return to porn not more than five years after her retirement. What was she doing during those five years? Being arrested for a DUI for driving drunk while also on drugs. Getting divorced from her second husband while being abused by her then boyfriend while he accused her of having an addiction to OxyContin. If this is what porn does to its top talent, imagine what it does to the girls on the bottom or to your marriage?

            When it comes to porn there are no victors, only victims. Victims like 23 year old Jyoti Singh Pandey who on December 16^th of 2012, was savagely beaten with a rusty iron bar and then repeatedly gang raped on a private bus. Fifteen days later she would die in a Singapore hospital from a combination of brain damage, pneumonia and an abdominal infection from the attack. Incidents like this will continue to rise and escalate due to pornography’s influence on so many lives. The longer pornography continues to gain traction in this world, we will continue to lose hold of what humanity we have left and it will be marriages and families that are destroyed in the process.

I want to leave with you a letter President Gordon B. Hinckley received from a grieving widow that speaks about the effects of pornography has in marriage:

 “Dear President Hinckley,

“My husband of 35 years died recently. … He had visited with our good bishop as quickly as he could after his most recent surgery. Then he came to me on that same evening to tell me he had been addicted to pornography. He needed me to forgive him [before he died]. He further said that he had grown tired of living a double life. [He had served in many important] Church callings while knowing [at the same time] that he was in the grips of this ‘other master.’

“I was stunned, hurt, felt betrayed and violated. I could not promise him forgiveness at that moment but pleaded for time. … I was able to review my married life [and how] pornography had … put a stranglehold on our marriage from early on. We had only been married a couple of months when he brought home a [pornographic] magazine. I locked him out of the car because I was so hurt and angry. …

“For many years in our marriage … he was most cruel in many of his demands. I was never good enough for him. … I felt incredibly beaten down at that time to a point of deep depression. … I know now that I was being compared to the latest ‘porn queen.’ …

“We went to counseling one time and … my husband proceeded to rip me apart with his criticism and disdain of me. …

“I could not even get into the car with him after that but walked around the town … for hours, contemplating suicide. [I thought,] ‘Why go on if this is all that my “eternal companion” feels for me?’

“I did go on, but zipped a protective shield around myself. I existed for other reasons than my husband and found joy in my children, in projects and accomplishments that I could do totally on my own. …

“After his ‘deathbed confession’ and [after taking time] to search through my life, I [said] to him, ‘Don’t you know what you have done?’ … I told him I had brought a pure heart into our marriage, kept it pure during that marriage, and intended to keep it pure ever after. Why could he not do the same for me? All I ever wanted was to feel cherished and treated with the smallest of pleasantries … instead of being treated like some kind of chattel. …

“I am now left to grieve not only for his being gone but also for a relationship that could have been [beautiful, but was not]. …

“Please warn the brethren (and sisters). Pornography is not some titillating feast for the eyes that gives a momentary rush of excitement. [Rather] it has the effect of damaging hearts and souls to their very depths, strangling the life out of relationships that should be sacred, hurting to the very core those you should love the most.”